I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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