Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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