No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
