Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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