this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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