Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
