After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
