How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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