This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
