So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize