My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
