I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
