Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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