i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
