when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
