I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dignity is for republicans.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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