You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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