hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
