Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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