Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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