True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
