I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
