Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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