i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm too high and old for this...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize