why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
