Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
