Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
