Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
