I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
