She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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