dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
