Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize