yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
