They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We need to get me chipped asap
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
