Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
