Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize