I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
