Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
