the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
