i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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