Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
