my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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