You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
