I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize