I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
