he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
