i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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