sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
