dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
just found out that she named her cat after me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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