Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize