You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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