just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
