I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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