a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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