i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize