Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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