i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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