Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's just like the Real World with babies
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize