Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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