North Korea, Best Korea!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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